Tuesday, January 14, 2003
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I have been so completely swamped at work this week. It's like I will never catch up. Work just keeps piling on and no matter how big a breath I take, it is impossible for me to keep my head above water. Really, I shouldn't complain...the days go by MUCH faster when I am not trying to fill it up with ways to play on the internet. That shit bores me to death eventually. I mean, how many times can I try to get Michael Jackson to throw his baby in the basket and not on the pavement?
Paul is SO back in my good graces. Just as I had given up on him, he goes and does something wonderful. Turns out that last night was to be my anniversary evening. When I got to Paul's house he was, of course, lying in bed naked, taking a nap. He must have been farting since the moment he laid down, cuz that room done stink! Once I sprayed him and the blankets with Febreeze, he got up and we watched the Simpsons together. (Fox has given us a full hour now, instead of the usual half hour! - 6:30-7:30pm)(rock)
After the episodes were over, we both got dressed and went to the grocery store. We split the cost of the groceries, which kinda sucked, cuz we didn't split the cost of HIS anniversary dinner, but whatever...
We bought the ingredients for taco salad and we got eachother little surprises. He got potato chips, I got ice cream. Then we rushed home and he made me the biggest feast imaginable. I laid in bed while he served me an appetizer of Tater Tots (actually called Tasty Morsels)(they were the generic brand) and fruit punch. After this he brought me my taco salad and I SHOVED it in my face. It was so good, I almost jizzed on it before I ate it. But that would have ruined it, so I decided against it. After dinner, HE did all the clean-up with no fuss and I got to watch both Fear Factor and Joe Millionaire from the comfort of his warm bed. It was wonderful.
At no point did I even see the evil Jen and Lisa. They were in the apartment the entire time, but never made it down to Paul's room. At one point I had a massive diarrhea attack and Paul was the lookout while I ran to the bathroom. I escaped them for the whole night and it was great! Paul was damn adorable all night long. He made me laugh over and over and it was exactly what I needed. I said "thank you" to him a million times and I finally gave him what he wanted: I told him that he was off the hook for the botched anniversary.
We both went to bed happy.
Over the last two nights, I have had some horrifying dreams. On Sunday night, I dreamed that I was diagnosed with a terminal illness called "Sephora". Yes, I KNOW it's some sort of make-up store, but in my dream, it was a rash that started at my shoulders and covered my entire body. It seemed to be the cousin of leprosy. My family and friends put me into a cage and I got to watch them live their lives from behind bars. When it was time for me to die, everyone crowded around the cage and said "Goodbye" to me. I felt so scared and alone. And then I woke up.
Last night, I dreamed that my old dog, "Garfield", was attacked by bees and laid dying on my living room floor. Only it was my grandmother's living room floor. You know how that goes...
When I was younger, I saw one of my dog's get stung to death, so this dream is probably a throw back to that memory. As Garfield laid there dying, my mom and I pet him over and over and cried about how much we loved him. Eventually he stopped breathing and my mom and I just hugged eachother until the emotional pain went away. I woke up as the alarm went off and immediately jumped out of bed. I sat, smoking a cigarette, thinking about how much I miss my mom, my old dog, and my dead grandmother. Kind of a rough start to the day.
The one upbeat thing that happened yesterday was that Mariah gave me a beautiful letter. (She and I used to write letters to eachother all the time when she was still living in Boston and me in NYC.) When I got to Paul's yesterday, I was still feeling low after what happened on Sunday night. Mariah explained how much she loved me and how she totally sees where I am coming from. She was very blunt about calling out some of my insecurities and in turn healed them all. She smoothed it over for me. Now I owe her a letter back explaining how lucky I am to have her in my life.
I finally feel as though I am not a complete lunatic. Even though I have been reassured by everyone that my yelling fits are natural (considering the amount of pressure I put on myself), it took her writing me that letter to make me feel okay about it. Thank you Mariah. Thank you thank you.
She always gets me and that's why I love her so dearly. There are few people that are as special as she is to me. We have been friends for over 2 and a half years and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Hopefully nothing but the best.
Tonight I am helping Paul with his resume and cover letter. We will probably get some grub and watch a movie. Since he doesn't have cable, we are very limited as to what we can watch. There is only so much Fox news that a boy can take.
I promise to write a much better entry tomorrow. I have been so crazy at work that I only have a couple minutes to stop in here and write about the quickie things. Tomorrow will be filled with crazy tales of my past, longings for the future, and sexy secrets only I could tell!
Giggle snort goodbye!
I have been so completely swamped at work this week. It's like I will never catch up. Work just keeps piling on and no matter how big a breath I take, it is impossible for me to keep my head above water. Really, I shouldn't complain...the days go by MUCH faster when I am not trying to fill it up with ways to play on the internet. That shit bores me to death eventually. I mean, how many times can I try to get Michael Jackson to throw his baby in the basket and not on the pavement?
Paul is SO back in my good graces. Just as I had given up on him, he goes and does something wonderful. Turns out that last night was to be my anniversary evening. When I got to Paul's house he was, of course, lying in bed naked, taking a nap. He must have been farting since the moment he laid down, cuz that room done stink! Once I sprayed him and the blankets with Febreeze, he got up and we watched the Simpsons together. (Fox has given us a full hour now, instead of the usual half hour! - 6:30-7:30pm)(rock)
After the episodes were over, we both got dressed and went to the grocery store. We split the cost of the groceries, which kinda sucked, cuz we didn't split the cost of HIS anniversary dinner, but whatever...
We bought the ingredients for taco salad and we got eachother little surprises. He got potato chips, I got ice cream. Then we rushed home and he made me the biggest feast imaginable. I laid in bed while he served me an appetizer of Tater Tots (actually called Tasty Morsels)(they were the generic brand) and fruit punch. After this he brought me my taco salad and I SHOVED it in my face. It was so good, I almost jizzed on it before I ate it. But that would have ruined it, so I decided against it. After dinner, HE did all the clean-up with no fuss and I got to watch both Fear Factor and Joe Millionaire from the comfort of his warm bed. It was wonderful.
At no point did I even see the evil Jen and Lisa. They were in the apartment the entire time, but never made it down to Paul's room. At one point I had a massive diarrhea attack and Paul was the lookout while I ran to the bathroom. I escaped them for the whole night and it was great! Paul was damn adorable all night long. He made me laugh over and over and it was exactly what I needed. I said "thank you" to him a million times and I finally gave him what he wanted: I told him that he was off the hook for the botched anniversary.
We both went to bed happy.
Over the last two nights, I have had some horrifying dreams. On Sunday night, I dreamed that I was diagnosed with a terminal illness called "Sephora". Yes, I KNOW it's some sort of make-up store, but in my dream, it was a rash that started at my shoulders and covered my entire body. It seemed to be the cousin of leprosy. My family and friends put me into a cage and I got to watch them live their lives from behind bars. When it was time for me to die, everyone crowded around the cage and said "Goodbye" to me. I felt so scared and alone. And then I woke up.
Last night, I dreamed that my old dog, "Garfield", was attacked by bees and laid dying on my living room floor. Only it was my grandmother's living room floor. You know how that goes...
When I was younger, I saw one of my dog's get stung to death, so this dream is probably a throw back to that memory. As Garfield laid there dying, my mom and I pet him over and over and cried about how much we loved him. Eventually he stopped breathing and my mom and I just hugged eachother until the emotional pain went away. I woke up as the alarm went off and immediately jumped out of bed. I sat, smoking a cigarette, thinking about how much I miss my mom, my old dog, and my dead grandmother. Kind of a rough start to the day.
The one upbeat thing that happened yesterday was that Mariah gave me a beautiful letter. (She and I used to write letters to eachother all the time when she was still living in Boston and me in NYC.) When I got to Paul's yesterday, I was still feeling low after what happened on Sunday night. Mariah explained how much she loved me and how she totally sees where I am coming from. She was very blunt about calling out some of my insecurities and in turn healed them all. She smoothed it over for me. Now I owe her a letter back explaining how lucky I am to have her in my life.
I finally feel as though I am not a complete lunatic. Even though I have been reassured by everyone that my yelling fits are natural (considering the amount of pressure I put on myself), it took her writing me that letter to make me feel okay about it. Thank you Mariah. Thank you thank you.
She always gets me and that's why I love her so dearly. There are few people that are as special as she is to me. We have been friends for over 2 and a half years and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Hopefully nothing but the best.
Tonight I am helping Paul with his resume and cover letter. We will probably get some grub and watch a movie. Since he doesn't have cable, we are very limited as to what we can watch. There is only so much Fox news that a boy can take.
I promise to write a much better entry tomorrow. I have been so crazy at work that I only have a couple minutes to stop in here and write about the quickie things. Tomorrow will be filled with crazy tales of my past, longings for the future, and sexy secrets only I could tell!
Giggle snort goodbye!
